May 05 2008
Mindless Zombies
OK, maybe not mindless, but at least very, very calm. Ever since I started taking the Lexapro that my doctor prescribed for me I have been a much different person. At least that is what my family is saying. Word is that I have been much calmer, slower to anger, and less reclusive. But, there is a downside to that. The thing that I have noticed is that while I may not be as anxious or quick to get upset over small things, I have also lost some of my drive.
A year or two ago, at the urging of my family, my doctor tried to put me on an anti-anxiety medication – I don’t remember if it was Lexapro or some other. I didn’t stay on it very long for the reason that I lost almost all my urges to do anything. And I am not just talking about sex here, I am talking about the desire to write, to read, to play, to do most anything. I felt like a jellyfish.
Now this time it doesn’t feel so bad. Yes, I have seen a dramatic decrease in my drive. But I have also seen an increase in my attention span and my consideration. I am just simply not a frantic, angry person. Of course having a different blood pressure medication is also helping. My goal right now though is to get some of my motivation back. I need to be able to lose the anxiety and stress without forgoing the drive and detirmination. So I am trying to write down more goals, use my friends and family as reminders of those goals, and basically just get my self back into it.
Tell you what though, I really am seeing things more clearly now. I am a bit ashamed that it took medication to remove some of the clouding from my eyes, but at least it was removed. And I am a much happier person for it!
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Tags: anxiety, drugs, Lexapro, motivation
2 responses so far
I hate hate hate that feeling. Some drugs that are supposed to help you with certain emotions have a way of just killing them all and you’re left feeling nothing…
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Good for you for opening up — in front of the world and all. That takes guts.
I’m not so up front about my prescriptions and mental issues. Let’s just say I’ve been chemically improved for a few years now and it has literally saved me from myself. Admitting I needed help was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.
I do need to visit with the doc about changing things. When my hormones kick in, it’s as if I’m back to square one.
For me, the sex drive problem resolved itself as I became used to the meds — but that also meant I probably need to change my medication because it isn’t working so well. That will probably be something I’ll discuss with my doc in the next couple of weeks.
It’s all about trial and error, unfortunately. If the sex drive issue is really bothering you, which I’m sure it is, it might be worthwhile to try a different med. I guess it all boils down to priorities — wish we could have our cake and eat it too. Not sure that is going to happen.
Take care.
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